Voicemail

As you already know, having a child changes everything in your life. And raising a toddler really changes everything in your life. My sister, Laura, is [un]lucky enough to be raising two toddlers at once (twin boys. I pray for her every day).

Even minor, day-to-day tasks, like leaving a message on your sister's voicemail, can be an ordeal that has you succumbing to your child's every whim against your better judgment in an effort to put a cap on the whining. I posted this because it made me laugh out loud when I listened to it (and we all know as moms that we're laughing only because it's not us.  If it were happening to us, we'd be yelling and grabbing the chocolate).

So here it is. Verbatim.

Laura: Hey Vanes, it’s Lor, ummm...

Leo: [in a pleading voice] I want to talk.

Laura: Well, we’re leaving a message, O.k.?

Leo: Hi, Auntie Jenn!

Laura: Auntie Nessa.

Leo: Hi, Auntie Nessa!

Laura: And Ry Ry.

Leo: Hi, Ry Ry!

Laura: And Uncle Joe!

Leo: Hi, Uncle Joe!

Laura: And, call me back!

Leo: Call me back!

Laura: It’s Leo.

Leo: It’s Leo.

Laura: O.k., let me talk. [*clicking* as phone switches hands]  O.k., so, umm... [Laura proceeds to leave real message]  

Leo: [emphatically in the background] I want to talk..I want to talk....I want to talk to Jenn & Beana!

Laura: (whispering) No, Jenn & Beana are not there, this is Auntie Nessa’s house.

Leo: I want to talk.

Laura: Well, we’re just leaving a message. [fast *click* as phone switches hands]

Leo: Hi. [silence]

Laura: We’re just leaving a message, she’s not there.

Leo: What? Oh. Auntie Jenn coming? Aah booo (unrecognizable words in exhuberant voice)....  call me back.... oh yeah, ummm...

Laura: Ok, C’mon!

Leo: Call me back.  Call me....[Leo giggling, then click].

Butterfly

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.

-anonymous

Italian Appetite

This photo was not staged.  This is really what my son ate for dinner last night.  Oh, all right, he didn't eat it all - he left an inch or two of bread.  This is about the size of the meals he's been eating for the greater part of this last week...  All I can say is I'm hoping it's a growth spurt cause if his portion sizes keep rising exponentially, I think I might have to add a profession on the side to teaching just to keep the fridge stocked.

Toga Boy or The Lighter Side of Sickness

I had to pick up Reilly early last Thursday at preschool cause of diarrhea/vomiting. Yuck. Because diarrhea happened in the morning and Reilly had to be changed, he didn't have another change of clothes to be put into when he vomited in the afternoon. So Reilly's innovative caregiver made a toga out of his blanket so he wouldn't be naked/cold!!  My opinion of her went way up after this in at least three ways that I can think of right now: one, who would have thought this could be a substitute for a change of clothes?  Two, Reilly's toga had some darn intricate parts (of which I've attached pictures) - I mean, it was nice, and third, it made me laugh at an otherwise serious situation. I just couldn't hold in my laughter when I saw my little guy looking like a Greek philosopher.

He Topped Me Again!

I seriously have NOT had a sick day this winter.  I don't know what it is about this particular winter, but if I have a sniffle, my husband has a full-blown cold.  If I have allergies, he has an asthma attack (before you panic, remember who's writing this and the literary license she takes in stretching the truth).  If I throw up, he throws up all night long.  Why is this important?  Because no one wants to take care of the baby when they feel like pond scum.  And WHO do you think trumps WHO if he's sicker than you?  Yep.  We love our husbands.  But will someone do some research and find out if they plan these things?  

Things You'd Never Thought You'd Say

Thinks you'd never thought you'd say to your perfect children.

*Stop climbing on the piano!

*Put the knife down.

*Stop chewing your food then dropping it on the floor!  Swallow!

*Get off the dishwasher!

**Stop unloading the dirty dishes in the dishwasher!

***Stop grabbing knives in the dishwasher!

****You cannot be in the kitchen when Mommy is working on the dishwasher.

*Don't bite my foot, ok, honey?

*Don't wipe snot across your entire face.

*Don't jump into the bathtub with your diaper on!

*Please stop licking the window.

I reserve author permission to add to this blog when new sayings arise. :)